It’s strange, when people ask me where I’m from, the first thing that comes to mind is “San Diego”
I don’t have a viable way to get paid to do the things I love to do. And that’s why I get a job.
I find there is such a massive fucking emphasis on loving your job. Love what you do. Love your job. Love your job. Love your goddamned job. Love your job and you won’t work a day in your life. Ain’t that pretty.
And honestly… I don’t know if I can fully support that.
Don’t get me wrong, I know full well that it can’t hurt. Getting paid to do what you enjoy doing is fan-fucking-tastic. But I feel like nowadays so many people are so focused on the job being an end-all-be-all destination in their lives… and I refuse to want that. I refuse. I reject that notion.
A job, to me, is merely a means to an end. What is that end, Kingston? What is it?
Money. Lots of it, preferably, but baby steps.
Being an engineer is a career choice that is rather lacking in romance and bravado. No sugarcoating that. But that’s okay. Because I want my life to be exciting. The job’s excitement level is optional. And that’s what I think some of the people I’ve met have a difficulty with accepting… They seem to be so afraid that their job isn’t going to be their passion, that they can’t make a career out of traveling the world, they can’t make a living feeding starving children in the developing world. My life is my passion, and my job is not my life.
My work could be exciting as hell, but my goal will always be… my job is not my life. Traveling is my life. Biking is my life. Tinkering is my life. Skiing is my life. Cooking is my life. Wine-tasting, concert-going, ice-cream-eating, movie-watching, photo-taking, book-reading, and story-telling is my life. Not engineering. Not project management. Not consulting. Not my job.
Apparently there has been a string of incidents all this past week at Cornell involving someone shooting paintballs from a moving vehicle at students on campus.
That sounds painful.
I sneezed this morning just as I was about to leave for school, half an hour before class starts
and then my nose started bleeding like crazy
i blew my nose again like 15 minutes later and it stopped. weird.
The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
"Few individuals grow up with the dream of one day becoming a project manager. It is neither a well-defined nor a well-understood career path within most modern organizations. Generally, the role is thrust upon people, rather than being sought."
- Frame, 1987
Applicable. I hardly even considered myself an engineer until about Junior year of college. Environmental? Mechanical? And now Systems.
Growing up, I wanted to be a chef, then a game designer, then a movie star, then an engineer, then a voice actor. Not necessarily with clearly defined boundaries between each… job-wanting-ness, I guess.
I’ve changed a lot, that’s going to be a given. mzjamiie made a post recently about possibly losing herself, who she was and who she wanted to be, but that was ok, because well… change happens. It’s a whole part of living.
So that got me thinking… I dunno. Do we really lose ourselves?
Personally………. I don’t think I have. Not because I’m one of those people who know what the hell they’re doing and want to do and what they need to do to get there. I’m not. Mostly because I don’t know if it’s possible. I might see that the viability of being a chef is a bit low, the probability of me being a movie star quite nearly nonexistent… but… I dunno. Some part of me still wants to, and I don’t feel like it’s gonna leave however much I want to get rid of it.
So I got to thinking about cheesy shit like that one weird-ass quote about us all being clumps of carbon that, under pressure and with time, become diamonds.
But that’s stupid, because I have seen some ugly-as-hell uncut diamonds.
That’s an uncut yellow diamond. It looks like old Elmer’s glue, spitballs, and boogers. Think about that for a bit.
So… what now? Diamonds by themselves aren’t worth jack shit (except as semiconductors, but for the sake of our analogy here I’m going to ignore that. Also, literally any other gemstone, uncut, looks sick as hell. Uncut sapphires, garnets, opal, amethyst, topaz, holy shit so cool. But diamonds are ugly. Which is why I’m using them for our analogy).
Why do we put so much value on them, then? Let’s ignore the whole economics and sociopolitical repercussions of the mining industry and capitalism as a whole and go down to the basest of reasons. It’s shiny. We like shiny shit. It’s the only reason why gold and silver and platinum and Apple Computers even have value placed on them (zing!).
So what makes a diamond shine? Its facets. Its cuts, and then its polish. The reason why a diamond shines is because light catches a facet at the right angle, and when we move the rock around, it catches another. Once you make a cut in that rock, you don’t lose it. Might not be the facet currently catching the light, but it’s still there.
In the end, what I’m essentially trying to say here is that we’re all just glorified disco balls. Yea, that’s the moral.
You and I, we’re just disco balls.
Had an interview for CUSD today (we have to interview for projects here. I need a project in order to graduate. They’re essentially like… engineering clubs, except they uh… actually do stuff.)
I like to think that it went pretty well, and being the first person to go while the interviewers were all fresh and awake (they were all students) can’t have hurt at all. I did sort of panic at one question though… They asked me what was one accomplishment I was proud of, and I told them that skiing down Whistler was it. And in my head I was just thinking…What the hell? Uh, okay. Guess we’ll continue then. And that was that.
Contacting every department I can think of here at Cornell that does any sort of paid study.
Also looking into a bunch in Manhattan in the event that I can do a whole load of them in a couple of days…. I don’t care if that’s a 5 hour bus ride away, if I get paid enough, I’ll do it. I need some source of income, and I’m damn tired of working in foodservice…
Because screw getting a job, amirite?
Anonymous said: Oh, I see! So you're generally saying that you don't know if this Juliann is the one for you, and that if you meet someone else who likes you more or "clicks better" with you, you'll go for the other person instead?
Anonymous said: The reason I was asking is because I always thought you'd be a great boyfriend, despite your doubts. So I was wondering who finally gets to be your girlfriend. How do you know she's the one? (Might be a stupid question, sorry).
Anonymous said: Hi kingstonhonkers! What happened to the girls you used to like? You used to write about them a lot: I've followed your posts. I was just wondering what happened to the girls from before, if anything at all, and if you still think about them/love them/anything. Also please share more about this new person you've been mentioning.
Anonymous said: have you ever stood up to a friend you treated you badly? how did those friendships end up turning out?
Not really, no. I can’t remember a time when a friend treated me badly… Sorry I can’t be more helpful =/
If you wanted advice though, the only recommendation I can give you would be to talk about it… cliche, I know. But I mean… there’s a reason why it’s cliche. Can’t really assume that people can read minds.